i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
