I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
