Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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