what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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