Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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