She is in my trunk
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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