sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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