I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
