Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize