people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
