She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize