I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
