pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
