i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
