It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
