Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
