i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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