You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
