Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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