if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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