we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
