Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
