Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
