1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
