Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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