I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
