This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
