if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
