Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
