I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
