He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Also, beer. Big fan.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize