I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
