I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
