The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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