$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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