just tell him i said nine months
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
