I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
