Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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