We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
