hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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