Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
