also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
