you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
