I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize