I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
