you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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