So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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