Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
