They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
