holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
