let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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