you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize