So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
