i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
