you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
