Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Sorry about my life...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
