Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize