Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
