just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
